Then come along to Pockmarked Pete's Pirate Open Day at the Sweaty Armpit in Tobacco Dock, London. Successful candidates can expect: - A royal okey dokey from Queen Elizabeth I (provided you bring her back lots of loot)- No more toothache (in that you won't have any teeth left)- Riches beyond belief (NB the company accepts no liability if you get caught)- A unique lavatorial experience- An early retirement (on account of being stabbed, shot, thrown overboard or hanged)